As noted earlier, for many parents this time is simply one of existence and survival and very little more.
Along with the usual symptoms and stages of grief, there are many issues that make parental bereavement particularly difficult to resolve. One reason we are so shocked by a neonatal death is that the medical technology to monitor pregnancy is so advanced. The death and loss of a child is frequently called the ultimate tragedy.
Each partner may expect too much and receive too little. One father dealing with the death of a child reported that his faith in life in general had been shattered. Any of these differences may cause spouses or partners to erroneously conclude that their mate has rejected them or feels “less.” A bereaved couple may find it impossible to give comfort to each other when both are feeling an equal grief.
Because a baby’s death seems so unnatural, there is an especially strong urge to blame someone. Each partner becomes deeply involved in his or her own grief and is often dissatisfied with the quality or depth of their spouse’s grief. When You’re Most Likely to Long for Sex With Your Ex As a parent, you gave birth to life as a promise to the future. Now you must make a new commitment to living, as hard or impossible as it may seem right now. Parents have the difficult task of switching roles constantly, from being comforted to being the comforter, at a time when they have little ability to do so. A child’s death robs you of the ability to carry out your parenting role as you have imagined it, as it is “supposed” to be. Nothing can be more devastating. Cultivating Curiosity for More Fulfilling Relationships
Support groups such as Compassionate Friends, Get the help you need from a therapist near you–a FREE service from Psychology Today. You may each find that your experience of grief, the ways you express your grief, as well as how you deal with the loss are different. It must be remembered that bereaved parents can mourn the death and loss of a child of any age, and that it feels unnatural to outlive a child. Parents of unborn babies who die often mistakenly blame themselves for the death. It may be difficult to concentrate or focus. You may behave differently—perhaps withdrawing, or becoming lethargic, apathetic, or aggressive. "Dark" Personalities Are More Likely to Signal Victimhood
The death of a child, then, is a deeply complicated loss that challenges parents on so many levels.
Recent studies offer some hope, showing that a much lower rate of divorces – only 12–16% — are related to the loss of a child. The COVID crisis throws into relief what happens when grief has—quite literally—nowhere to go. Religious confusion is normal, as is questioning many things that you may have believed to be certain. The death of a child, then, is a deeply complicated loss that challenges parents on so many levels. Her husband though was active—supporting the SIDS Foundation and talking with other parents who had experienced the loss. This unfortunate combination can create a chasm in a relationship, but it can be avoided if each accepts that you both are deeply hurt.
How Nootropics Boost Mental Clarity and Focus 'Mourn like humans do' is a big statement. We know so much about the baby, even in utero, that the failure to prevent this loss seems nearly unbelievable. But the surviving child or children shouldn’t feel that they are alone or have been set aside, as difficult as it may be to find the emotional reserves to support them. When coupled with the anger, frustration, guilt and blame that often surround a child’s death, parental bereavement can be a time of extreme volatility in a marriage. Just as with any death and loss of a child, you are likely to experience some of the more common symptoms of grief — you may go into shock or even deny that your baby has died. Faith is a source of comfort for some parents, but others with religious beliefs report feeling betrayed by God. But it can be more intense and last longer. You may feel unwell physically. This may make it more difficult to get support from those around you as each person copes with their own, deeply personal sense of loss.This may even be true of husbands and wives. Perhaps with more of an understanding about grief, there will be even fewer.One of the most difficult roles for a mother or father after the death and loss of a child is to continue being a parent to the surviving children.